Making the decision to put my career on hold was not an easy one. Getting to the place where I was ready to actually make said decision was the hard part. That’s kind of how it is with a boyfriend, right? You just kind of skirt along knowing things aren’t working out, but you’re just not ready to call it quits yet. You tell yourself, He can change! Things will get better. I’ll never find anyone better than him. Maybe I’m the problem! Maybe if I do this, or try this, or do that… etc. etc. Blah. Blah. Blah. We’ve all been there, ladies. Being a happily married woman, though, I thought I would never be there again. Until I was. Until I found myself breaking up with my decade-long career.
So, you’re skirting along in your career (relationship) and you find yourself thinking, There’s so many other things out there. I’m not getting any younger. I can’t be wasting my time on something (someone) that doesn’t make me happy. You used to love it (him) but now the feeling is just gone. You’ve lost your spark, your passion. Love don’t live here anymore.
So maybe you’re all Boy, Bye and singing You better call Tyrone, but maybe you’re like me and you’re all I don’t wanna go, don’t need to stay, but I really need to get it together. If you *are* like me, here are 6 ways quitting your job is like breaking up with a boyfriend:
You can’t make up your mind. With any relationship, there are good days and bad days. The good days are great and give you a much-needed recharge. You find yourself thinking, Yeah this could work. Until the next bad day and then you’re all, get me the heck outta here. It’s a vicious cycle and you waffle back and forth on the regular.
You remember all the good times. The honeymoon phase was so sweet, wasn’t it? Way back before things got hard and complicated? You long for those days again and are naively optimistic you can have them again. Your brain replaces the negative with the positive and you just want to make it work. You’ve invested so much time, blood, sweat, and tears already! You can’t quit now!
You dread the conversation. Nothing is worse than sitting down and having the break-up conversation. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s just not working out right now. I need to have some time alone to work on myself and figure out what I really want in life. This relationship has taught me so much. I hope we can keep in touch. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a career, the break-up conversation is essentially the same.
You almost change your mind. The hard part is over. The weight has been lifted and the pressure is off. You find yourself focusing on the positives again instead of all the reasons you came to the decision in the first place. You consider going back, asking for forgiveness. But you’re smart so you don’t, because all of the reasons you left in the first place are still there.
You wonder if you’ll ever find work (love) again. Will someone ever love (hire) you when you’re ready to get back out there? The longer you’re single (unemployed), the harder it will be, right? How do I stay on the scene so I can jump back in later? Don’t let this hold you back, ladies – don’t dwell in the future. Someone will love (hire) you again when the timing is right.
You cry when it’s over. It’s emotional. Life-changing. You feel like a failure because you couldn’t make it work even though you really wanted it to. You’ll miss the good days and the fun. You’ll miss the great feeling your work (love) used to give you. But then when the tears are dry, you feel relieved.
I was working at a fantastic company with smart, fun people and learning so much everyday, but something just wasn’t right (my commute, mostly). Working with my last company 3.5 years, I spent the last year waffling back and forth before finally make the break-up happen. I have no hard feelings and no regrets. Maybe one day I’ll rekindle the old career flame and I’ll find myself back there. But, just like Ross and Rachel, I just needed a break.