If you’ve been following me on Instagram or Facebook or have read any of my previous posts, you may have noticed that I don’t post full-face photos of my girls or refer to them by their real names (publicly; I have separate accounts that are private). This was a conscious decision my husband and I made when I started this blog.
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Over the 4th of July weekend, Todd and I took the girls {ages 3.5 and 21.5 months} on a vacation to the Sandestin Resort in Destin, FL. We were so excited because we had only taken the girls to the beach once before and the weather was pretty terrible on that trip. We had high expectations for our time away, especially since both girls are now walking, and overall, the trip didn’t disappoint. There were a few lessons learned {the hard way}, though, and I’ve compiled the Top 10 for you below!
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Four. Four is the number of expletives women who have asked me over the past year if I’m pregnant. Actually, that’s not true; two of those four people actually said, “When are you due?” and, “When is your due date?” while the other two asked if I was having another baby.
Let’s analyze that for a second. Two people just assumed that I was pregnant. There was no doubt about it for them. At least the other two, even though still completely inappropriate sought confirmation. These four all have something in common: lack of sense. I mean, they’re women! They should know better!
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Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your joy? That in the chaos of being a wife, mother, employee, and all the other roles we play in life, you’ve lost who you were along the way? Have you ever not known what to say when people ask what your hobbies are or what you do for fun?
I have.
I felt that way for a long time without even realizing it. I was just kind of floating through the motions of life, thinking I was excelling in all of my many roles when, really, I was probably only mediocre at best in all of them. You see, you can’t pour from an empty cup and I didn’t realize is that mine was empty. My joy was gone.
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Before we agreed to try for a second baby, we thought long and hard about whether we wanted another one or not; we felt complete with just Lady A. Looking back, I can’t believe we even questioned it. Ever since she was born, there has always been something special about Sweet E. She has always had a way about her that was just soul-soothing. I describe her as the blessing I never knew I needed.
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On Monday, September 15, 2014 {6 days before my due date}, I went to my 39 week OB check-up. At that appointment, I was already 75% effaced with 4cm dilation… but no contractions. Being that this was my second pregnancy, my body must’ve just known what to do. I’m sure the evening primrose oil capsules helped, too. My doctor and I agreed that she would do a membrane sweep at that appointment {a very uncomfortable but quick procedure}. There is a 50% chance that labor will ensue within 24 hours of the sweep. She sent me home with very clear instructions… “When you go into labor tonight, make sure you tell me that you’re 4cm and 75% so I know to get my butt out of bed.” I had a membrane sweep with Lady A a couple years prior but with no luck so I wasn’t optimistic. But, I went home, made sure my bag was packed just in case {it had been packed for awhile but I added some last minute things}, and emailed my boss to let her know that I would be working from home until the baby arrived.
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Our lives are completely different. I work in an office; you work at home. My work includes meetings, emails, spreadsheets, and PowerPoint (So. Much. PowerPoint). Your work includes diapers, meals that end up on the floor, endless toy messes, and entertaining tiny dictators. I spend my days wishing I were with my kids. You spend yours enjoying yours (and battling them, too) but longing for adult interaction – sometimes feeling isolated and alone.
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You’re doing a great job. I know you need to hear that. Being away from your kids so much isn’t always an easy thing. In fact, it’s the hardest. But, I get you, Working Mom, because I am you.
The “Mom Guilt” you feel is real. I feel it, too. Do my kids know I love them? Do they see me enough? Am I giving them enough time and attention? Am I scarring them for life?
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