I’m not pregnant. Now that we have that out of the way, I can get right to it. So, if you’ve been following along with me and have read about my long days, my shortcomings as a mom, and my overall struggles with life, you know that I work too much, have a ghastly commute, and barely see my family during the week. Well, all of that is about to change.
Yesterday was my last day as a full-time employee. When I return to work on January 3rd, I will be a part-timer, working 20 hours per week. The plan is to do that until the end of March/April and then leave my company to be a full-time mom who does consulting, project, and temporary work, as needed. Todd and I solidified our plan to do this back in August and once the stars aligned to make it possible, I notified my company in mid-October.
Words cannot express how excited I am about this change. The thought of not living the rat race that is the current state of my everyday life is so exciting. I’m looking forward to learning how to cook again; I haven’t cooked in over 5 years. I’m mostly excited about being able to take my girls to dance classes, story time at the library, and [insert every activity that isn’t conducive to a working mom’s schedule]. I’m excited to pick my kids up every day and to spend more time with them. I’m excited to be a better wife; I’m a pretty crappy one.
All that said, words cannot express how terrified I am about this change. I’m a career girl; I have goals and was one step away from fulfilling them. Heck, I’m still paying my student loans. I’m not one to find my identity in my career but it feels like I’m abandoning an old friend in some ways; I’m ambitious and have been chasing my ambitions for over 9 years. Also, we have to make major life changes for this to even be possible – will I be able to adjust to living on a budget? Will I feel lonely and isolated like so many moms do? Will I be able to secure a job when I’m ready to return to the full-time workforce? I strongly believe that being a SAHM is a calling and that I did not receive that calling. So, I’m terrified that I will hate it and will go crazy. My plan is to go back to work full-time in a few years, but what if I go back in 6 months because I can’t hack it at home?
Fears aside, while I may not fit the “SAHM mold” (I am so not domestic, have zero patience, and see no issues with my kids watching TV all day – okay that last one is an exaggeration but only a slight one), I am confident that this is the right thing for my family right now. Life today is hard. Really hard. My husband needs me. My children need me. I need them. Something had to give and I decided it was my career. Yes, me. I decided.
Many of you may be wondering if I’m putting my career on hold to pursue blogging full-time. The answer to that is no. However, this little blog of mine made this decision more of a possibility. The income I have made off of sponsored posts this year fully covered the cost of A’s part-time preschool tuition for next year – something we wouldn’t have been able to cover with just one income (she goes full-time now but will drop to part-time in January). So, I’m thankful for this blog for many reasons, that being one of them. So while I am not putting my career on hold to pursue blogging full-time, putting my career on hold will make it possible for me to focus more time and effort into my blog.
Speaking of my blog, with these changes, it only feels right to have my blog’s name be reflective of them and fully reflective of me. That said, there is a rebrand coming soon. Although I will be a working mom until April and then off-and-on throughout the year as I pick up short-term assignments, I feel “Memoirs of a Working Mom” might be misleading going forward. Don’t fret, though; my tone, voice, and post themes will not change (but may increase in variety). My target audience will continue to be moms, with special attention paid to working moms, of course, since I am and always will be one at heart.
My prayer is that you will stick with and support me through this exciting, terrifying transition. I definitely plan to write about the life changes and my experiences navigating this new world I will be embarking on; I’m sure it will be rich with laughter, tears (mine), and the ever-so-popular mom-bun on the daily. I’m grateful for each and every one of you and appreciate your support so much.
2017 is going to be a great year. I hope you’ll continue to follow along.