Four. Four is the number of expletives women who have asked me over the past year if I’m pregnant. Actually, that’s not true; two of those four people actually said, “When are you due?” and, “When is your due date?” while the other two asked if I was having another baby.

Let’s analyze that for a second. Two people just assumed that I was pregnant. There was no doubt about it for them. At least the other two, even though still completely inappropriate sought confirmation. These four all have something in common: lack of sense. I mean, they’re women! They should know better!

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Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your joy? That in the chaos of being a wife, mother, employee, and all the other roles we play in life, you’ve lost who you were along the way? Have you ever not known what to say when people ask what your hobbies are or what you do for fun?

I have.

I felt that way for a long time without even realizing it. I was just kind of floating through the motions of life, thinking I was excelling in all of my many roles when, really, I was probably only mediocre at best in all of them. You see, you can’t pour from an empty cup and I didn’t realize is that mine was empty. My joy was gone.

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Before we agreed to try for a second baby, we thought long and hard about whether we wanted another one or not; we felt complete with just Lady A. Looking back, I can’t believe we even questioned it. Ever since she was born, there has always been something special about Sweet E. She has always had a way about her that was just soul-soothing. I describe her as the blessing I never knew I needed.

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On Monday, September 15, 2014 {6 days before my due date}, I went to my 39 week OB check-up. At that appointment, I was already 75% effaced with 4cm dilation… but no contractions. Being that this was my second pregnancy, my body must’ve just known what to do. I’m sure the evening primrose oil capsules helped, too. My doctor and I agreed that she would do a membrane sweep at that appointment {a very uncomfortable but quick procedure}. There is a 50% chance that labor will ensue within 24 hours of the sweep. She sent me home with very clear instructions… “When you go into labor tonight, make sure you tell me that you’re 4cm and 75% so I know to get my butt out of bed.” I had a membrane sweep with Lady A a couple years prior but with no luck so I wasn’t optimistic. But, I went home, made sure my bag was packed just in case {it had been packed for awhile but I added some last minute things}, and emailed my boss to let her know that I would be working from home until the baby arrived.

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It was a cold February morning. A Wednesday. The 24th to be exact. I had been averaging 60 hours of work per week for the previous 4 months and was finally coming to the beginning of the end of my busiest season. It was the day that everything I had been working on up to that point needed to be physically assembled and distributed to the company and it had to be done that day. I was running on 4 hours of sleep and was physically and emotionally exhausted. Naturally, I was already running late(r than usual).

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