When the Baby Days are Over

When the Baby Days are Over

Ever since A was born, I remember always wanting her to hit her next milestone. As a new mom, it was always so exciting and I couldn’t wait to see what she would do next. I didn’t rush her by any means (she’s actually always been one to do things on her own time so rushing her wouldn’t have mattered anyway) but with her being my first child, everything was a new experience. She was my big girl. I always knew the time would fly by but I didn’t realize exactly how fast until now.

Now that my baby days are over.

When E came along 2 years later, knowing she would be my last, I felt differently about her milestones; I wasn’t ready for any of them. I wanted her to be a baby, my baby, as long as possible. I used to joke that whenever she got up to start walking I would knock her over so she would stop. Lucky for me, I think God knew just how much my heart needed more baby days than I should have had because He kept her little longer than her sister was. She was my baby.

But my baby days are over.

See, Sweet E has always been petite and she’s always been snuggly. Her sister, on the other hand, was a giant and could never sit still. I remember when A was little I used to compare her to other people’s kids and was worried that she was “behind” on things – we even had her speech evaluated when she was 2 (she was fine). She grew fast. With E, she was actually delayed in speech and gross motor skills (probably because of her tumor, but we’ll never know for sure), and I was actually kind of glad; it meant that she got to be a baby longer. Don’t get me wrong, we got her physical therapy and she is now in speech therapy to help her catch up, but rather than be worried or concerned, I chose to cherish the additional “baby” time instead. It was easy to forget that she’s getting too old for bottles and pacifiers (both of which she still uses… oops). But, she’s really embraced her toddlerness lately, even though she’s technically been a toddler for almost a year.

My baby days are over.

Lady A will be 4 in a few weeks and Sweet E will turn 2 two days before. Soon I will find myself parting with bottles, pacifiers, baby toys, and diapers for good. Next on the horizon is potty training, pre-school (next year), Pre-K (next year), and life as a mom of little girls instead of a mom of babies. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don’t want to have any more kids, but I am so sad that my girls aren’t babies anymore. It’s like I woke up one day and my babies were gone. I feel like I didn’t have enough time. I needed longer, even though Sweet E gave me more time than I should’ve gotten.

Gone are the days of squishy babies, tiny clothes, midnight feedings, naps on my chest, baby noises, first giggles, first words, and Bumbo seats (those are the cutest, aren’t they?).

What lies ahead is exciting, no doubt. I love watching who my girls are becoming and am so excited to see what they will accomplish in their precious lives. I am thrilled that they are both healthy and will get to grow up, but that doesn’t take away the almost-grief I feel that came with the realization that they aren’t babies anymore.

My baby days are over.
And my mama heart is sad.

 

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55 Comments

  1. November 20, 2016 / 4:36 am

    My daughter is nearly 4 and she’s so keen to be a big girl whilst I’m sad to see the end of her baby days. I wrote about it in my blog post ‘the sadness of my baby growing up ‘.

    • November 21, 2016 / 12:46 am

      I’ll have to check it out! Thanks for reading!

    • October 29, 2016 / 12:14 am

      Thank you so much! Thanks for reading!

  2. August 30, 2016 / 12:03 pm

    Your so right I miss the baby days. My son is in kindergarten now and 5. I miss his baby days .. but their days are school are going to be fun

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:15 pm

      Every stage is fun but the passing of them make me sad!

  3. August 30, 2016 / 9:02 am

    I’m about to go into my second round of baby days and I know they’re just going to fly by – my oldest is such a big kid now and it just astounds me every day!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:15 pm

      They go by faster and faster each time! Cherish it.

  4. August 30, 2016 / 5:55 am

    It’s amazing how we know when we are done having children. Ours are close in age, mine are 5 & 2. I still treat my 2 year old like a baby on occasion when I know I shouldn’t. Great post.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:16 pm

      Thanks! It’s so hard not to!

  5. August 30, 2016 / 12:05 am

    I’ve been feeling sad lately watching my youngest start to slip through the toddler stage. I don’t want anymore children, but I’ll miss my girls being little.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:16 pm

      My feelings exactly!

  6. August 29, 2016 / 11:33 pm

    I know what you mean. My LO is only 14 months, but we don’t really have plans for another one. He’s my only baby and now I wish he had stayed so very tiny, just a little longer

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:16 pm

      It goes way too fast!!

  7. August 29, 2016 / 10:40 pm

    I feel you on this one. I have three daughters and my youngest is 14 months, and I am finding myself in the position of feeling guilty/sad that we are done. I know I only want three children, but sad that it is the end of this stage for me.

  8. August 29, 2016 / 3:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing this sweet perspective. It’s so easy to wish for them to be more independent, to sleep through the night, to be able to put their own shoes on…but their softness and snuggles are not to be wished away. Love this!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:17 pm

      Yes! There are so many pros to them getting older but it’s so sad!

  9. August 29, 2016 / 3:15 pm

    This reminds me how important is is to stay present in the baby days. They will soon be gone…

  10. pamperparenting
    August 29, 2016 / 2:19 pm

    Awww, I know, I always thought they would last “forever” but no, they didn’t. Enjoy every moment, mama!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:18 pm

      It’s the opposite of forever! It’s gone in a blink.

  11. August 29, 2016 / 1:02 pm

    Baby 2 and last is 5 months old already and I feel the same way- I don’t want her to grow up so fast! I just want to hold onto my babies for a while longer.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:19 pm

      Why can’t they stay little longer???

  12. tootsmomistired
    August 29, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    My daughter is almost 14 months and I can feel all the baby-ness slipping away. She’s starting to walk more and I don’t have to carry her everywhere. I’m already starting to miss all the baby stuff but I’m so excited for her to learn new things. It’s such a conflicting feeling! Great post. I can very much relate to it.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:19 pm

      SO conflicting! Enjoy the days!

  13. August 29, 2016 / 11:34 am

    It is a weird feeling realizing your baby isn’t a baby anymore. Somehow I missed that transition in the whole survival mode thing. I miss it, sometimes, so I can definitely understand that tugging sadness. It might convince me to have a second, and after that I’ll likely feel what you’re feeling.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:20 pm

      It goes even faster the second time!

  14. August 29, 2016 / 11:31 am

    Its amazing how you never really understand why so many parents say “they grow up so fast” until you have kids of your own. It feel like they grow up over night.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:20 pm

      Fact! Totally overnight.

  15. j2mason816
    August 29, 2016 / 9:41 am

    You just made me cry, again, mine are all grown and in college. I long for my baby snuggles.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:22 pm

      Ah! I can’t imagine that! SO not even close to ready!

  16. August 29, 2016 / 9:37 am

    Me too, girl! My last baby just turned 2, and it is almost grieving the end of these days. Although, he is still a snuggle-bum, I am going to miss these sweet days that have went by so quickly!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:23 pm

      Exactly! My littlest is so snuggly, too, but I have the fear each time she snuggles me that it will be the last “baby” snuggle I get.

  17. August 29, 2016 / 9:34 am

    I am cherishing this pregnancy so much knowing that it is my last. I’ve had these crazy mixed feelings about it. It’s hard knowing you will never carry another little one for 9 months. Although, I can’t wait for this little guy to get here.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:23 pm

      Cherish every day! It goes by so much faster with each baby.

  18. August 29, 2016 / 9:28 am

    Can´t even imagine yet the baby days to be over… I always thought it was a cliche but time goes so crazy fast!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:24 pm

      Faster than anything I’ve ever experienced!

  19. August 29, 2016 / 9:10 am

    I am so there right now and it’s so bittersweet! It’s easier when they can do more on their own but, sad to not have those tiny cuddles! I will miss it!

  20. August 29, 2016 / 8:53 am

    I cannot even think of the baby days being over! It’s a good thing, as I have another baby on the way. 😉

    But…my oldest is going to kindergarten this week so it hits home as it’s hard to have kiddos grow up!!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:26 pm

      It goes by faster with each kid. Enjoy it!

  21. August 29, 2016 / 8:22 am

    And then you also get little surprises in life (like we did)…we have a 14 year old and a 10 year old and God blessed us with a baby girl (now 18 months) when i was 43. Yes, 43. I thought we were long long long done with babies and toddlers but, nope! What a nice surprise!! Loved the blog today. Thanks for sharing!

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:27 pm

      I remember you saying that! You got a do-over! Having an unexpected kid is terrifying! LOL

  22. August 29, 2016 / 7:52 am

    Just as I expected…tears. They do grow up so fast and just thinking about not having squishy babies around makes me so ridiculously sad. Excuse me while I go squeeze my baby.

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:28 pm

      Aww!! Squeeze that baby tight!!

  23. August 29, 2016 / 7:41 am

    I had a hard time for a few minutes when my youngest was 6 but it was when I realized I didn’t have babies anymore. Once all my kids (now 7,8,11) were all in school I could finally breathe again. For a good 10 years I had babies and now I have big kids and I love it! It’s bittersweet thou 🙂
    XO
    http://www.lehoarder.com/

    • September 2, 2016 / 10:29 pm

      So bittersweet but I totally know what you mean!

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