It’s Been 365 Days

It’s Been 365 Days

It’s been 365 days since the worst day of my life. It’s been 365 days since the best day, too.

It’s been 365 days since I woke up in a hospital room with my baby after hearing the word “tumor” in relation to her brain the day before. It’s been 365 days since I held her tight, not knowing what to expect.

It’s been 365 days since the nurses gave my baby a drug that made her loopy and hilarious before surgery. 365 days since we took her for a walk around the 5th floor of the hospital – the neurology floor – laughing at her shenanigans. 365 days since I handed my baby to a nurse who would carry her back to the operating room. 365 days since we didn’t know how different our lives would be when we saw E again. 365 days since we didn’t know if she would be better or worse.

It’s been 365 days since we got the call. 365 days since I heard her surgeon’s voice say he got it all. 365 days since we held each other tight, celebrating the good news.

It’s been 365 days since we waited to see her in recovery – for hours. 365 days since my heart couldn’t wait to reunite with my baby. 365 days since I visited a PICU for the first time. 365 days since I saw an incision and stitches where hair used to be. 365 days since I saw her face – swollen and shiny, unable to move or make noise. 365 days since I looked into her exhausted, medicated eyes. 365 days since I could tell she was relieved we were there.

It’s been 365 days since E got the chance to be a normal kid. 365 days since my entire perspective on life changed.

The past 365 days have been filled with worry, anxiety, tears, joy, progress, thankfulness, laughter, and a whole lot of love. Sweet E is a healthy, normal little girl. She is caught up on her motor skills, is quickly catching up on her speech, and has had 2 clear MRI’s. She has been released from her neuro-ophthalmologist to her regular ophthalmologist. She’s goofy, mischievous, so smart, and amazingly sweet.

I have never worried more in my life than I have in the past 365 days. I have never trusted God more than I have in the past 365 days. I have never been more thankful than have been in the past 365 days.

365 Days.
365 Gifts.

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43 Comments

  1. October 12, 2016 / 4:45 pm

    Bless your heart… to come out so strong on the other end. So grateful for happy endings. Hugs!

    • October 12, 2016 / 7:50 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!! We’re so blessed and thankful!

  2. October 11, 2016 / 3:56 pm

    God is good! I’m so happy for your baby and you guys!! What an inspirational read.
    XOX
    Ahidee

    • October 11, 2016 / 5:19 pm

      Thank you SO much! Yes, He most definitely is. Thanks so much for reading!

  3. October 7, 2016 / 1:24 pm

    Oh wow! What a strong woman you are!! I’m so happy things have gotten so much better and that you shared this! I’m such a fan of your blog!

    • October 7, 2016 / 2:03 pm

      Thank you so much! You just made my day! I appreciate you!

  4. October 1, 2016 / 2:13 pm

    I loved this post and how courageous you are!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:44 pm

      Thank you, Nida! Isn’t it funny how sometimes courage is the only option? Thanks for reading!

  5. julie
    October 1, 2016 / 12:33 am

    That moment of having to hand over your child, letting the nurse take them back to the OR, is so hard and the waiting is horrible. I can’t imagine having to do it after having heard the word tumor in relation to your child. Thank goodness she is doing well.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:44 pm

      Yes! Watching the doors close behind them. I’ll never forget that. It wasn’t quite as hard as I thought it would be but it definitely wasn’t easy. Thank you for reading and for your kind words!

  6. September 30, 2016 / 11:34 pm

    Aww that’s such a sweet post! I’m so glad it had a happy ending xo

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:43 pm

      Me too! Thanks so much for reading!

  7. September 30, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    Life is so short and we need to cherish every moment. I can’t even imagine what you went and are going through. Stay strong:)

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:42 pm

      Thank you, Sam! You’re so right – cherish every moment! Sweet E fills our lives with laughter and joy and we’re so thankful for her. Thanks for reading!

  8. September 30, 2016 / 9:17 pm

    Oh goodness, this brings me to tears. I cannot imagine the different emotions you have felt. I’m so happy to hear that she is doing so well.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Thank you, Amber! So many emotions but mostly gratefulness! Thanks for reading!

  9. Melissa
    September 30, 2016 / 6:33 pm

    This is such a beautiful post. I am glad she is doing well!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Thank you for reading!!

  10. September 30, 2016 / 4:24 pm

    Bless your heart for you had to go through this! I can’t even imagine what it must have been like. My husband and I are planning on starting a family soon. Every time I read a story like yours I get sad and nervous about the idea of starting a family. But then when I see how strong women are just like you it gives me hope that no matter what will come, we will get through this. I am so glad that your little girl is doing fine and my prayers go out for her to have happy healthy life!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Thank you Sabrina! Motherhood has a way of teaching you things about yourself that you never knew. You’re so right – whatever comes your way… you’ll get through it. Thank you for your prayers and kind words!

  11. September 30, 2016 / 3:30 pm

    What a bittersweet anniversary. I cannot imagine all the emotions that your heart is going through today as you celebrate and remember!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:39 pm

      Bittersweet for sure. So many emotions but mostly gratefulness. Thanks for reading!

  12. September 30, 2016 / 2:16 pm

    Bless. Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot imagine what you have been through but I can only say you have a miracle of a baby. I am happy she is good. Lots of blessings. May all her life be filled with joy and laughter

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:39 pm

      Thank you for reading and for your kind words! She is my miracle baby for sure and she fills our lives with so much laughter and joy! Thank you!

  13. September 30, 2016 / 12:06 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Such beautiful words. I can’t imagine going through this as a mother. You and your sweet baby are both so strong! Prayers that she continues to grow as a healthy, happy little girl.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:38 pm

      I appreciate that so much! Thank you!

  14. September 30, 2016 / 10:26 am

    Thank you for sharing. Prayers for your little angel!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:37 pm

      Thanks for reading! Your prayers are so appreciated!

  15. Jen G
    September 30, 2016 / 10:01 am

    I can’t even imagine that! Thank you for sharing your story.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:37 pm

      Thank you for reading!

  16. September 30, 2016 / 9:35 am

    Wow! I’m always amazed by a mother’s strength fueled by the love for their child. Thank you for sharing this. It is a wonderful reminder of how precious every moment.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:37 pm

      Sometimes you have no other choice but to be strong! Thank you for reading!

  17. September 30, 2016 / 9:22 am

    I cried! Beautiful post, thinking about you today!

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:36 pm

      Thank you, Eryka!! xo

  18. caffeinecuddles
    September 30, 2016 / 8:48 am

    Oh mama. That Sweet E is such a strong baby girl! I can’t imagine everything you went through so I’m sure today is hard. Hang in there and hug that sweet baby tight! Think of you and your family today xo

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:36 pm

      She is the strongest and most brave little one ever! I’ve learned so much from her! Thank you so much!

  19. September 30, 2016 / 8:32 am

    Oh my goodness …I cannot even imagine. Thank God for his grace and that your little one is ok xoxoxox

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:35 pm

      Yes! All thanks and glory go to God for sure! I’m not sure why He chose my girl to be a fortunate one but I’m so glad He did!

  20. September 30, 2016 / 8:19 am

    Oh my goodness I just found your blog, I have three girls of my own and its difficult to imagine what you just described. Thank you for sharing your story- I’ll have to go back and read some of your older posts. XO

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:34 pm

      Thank you, Jill! It was surreal but we’re so thankful for the outcome we got!

  21. September 30, 2016 / 6:21 am

    I am so sorry that you went through that. There are tears in my eyes and i was holding my breath while reading your words. I could never imagine going through what you went through. Thank you for sharing your story, I am so grateful for my girls health.

    • October 1, 2016 / 10:33 pm

      Thank you, Breharne! Hugs your little ones tight! We had the best possible outcome but not everyone does.

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