While you were sleeping, I held you tight, kicked back in the old, familiar recliner that keeps the memories of your baby days gone by. These moments are ours alone – yours, mine, and our chair.

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Happy New Year and Welcome to my rebrand, Mom Without Labels! I am beyond excited to be sharing my new site with you after countless hours of first trying to finalize a new name (I’m so incredibly indecisive) and then actually getting everything set up; it was a lot more work that I imagined. I hope you love everything as much as I do. As promised, Mom Without Labels will have the same tone, voice, and types of content as Memoirs of a Working Mom, but I also plan to add posts about my transition out of the full-time work force… and anything else I feel like, really.

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I’m not pregnant. Now that we have that out of the way, I can get right to it. So, if you’ve been following along with me and have read about my long days, my shortcomings as a mom, and my overall struggles with life, you know that I work too much, have a ghastly commute, and barely see my family during the week. Well, all of that is about to change.

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Back in college, I used to make a point to write down a list of things for which I am thankful every year at Thanksgiving. I don’t know when or why I stopped but I decided that I want to start again. Life can be busy and challenging and straight up hard but we are abundantly privileged and blessed and have so much for which to be grateful. I think it’s so important to take a step back and acknowledge all the good in our lives. Here’s my list (not in any particular order).

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Crying it out is a waste of time. But not in the way you might think.

With both of my girls, I was a “Babywise” mom (which basically is a philosophy of keeping your baby on a rolling 3 hour schedule of feeding, playing, and sleeping). In Babywise, the author (who a lot of people hate) talks about allowing the baby to cry before falling asleep but checking on them throughout to make sure they’re okay. I took the Babywise approach with A and let her cry it out (CIO) many times. I had a change of heart with E – not because I didn’t think it worked; A slept and still sleeps like a champion. E does, too. But see, as a first time mom having no experience under my belt, I was afraid that I would “spoil” my baby and that she would never sleep on her own if she couldn’t “self-soothe” so I did what the book told me (to an extent). With E, having been more experienced, I adopted the 3 hour schedule but with some small tweaks, including removing CIO (which kind of happened unintentionally, actually). But, this isn’t about the effectiveness of CIO or the studies that go with it. I’m not here to start a debate or mommy wars. This is about what I learned as a mom my second time around.

What I learned is that CIO is a waste of time: A waste of precious baby time.

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